Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
