Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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