i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
