i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
