Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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