bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
