I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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