used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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