I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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