he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
