I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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