so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
