Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
