it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
