I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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