goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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