I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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