in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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