your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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