the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
