There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
