eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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