I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
