so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
