I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
