He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
