TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
