just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
