Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I want to fling myself into the sun
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
