White coat. Heels.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
