I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
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Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
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All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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