She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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