I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
