so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
this is an emotional support booty call
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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