why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
