You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
