Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
