Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
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i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
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WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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