At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
