The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
