Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Even the bartender felt bad for me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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