Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
