What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
