i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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