so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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