**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
