I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize