He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
