Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize