We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize