I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
