i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize