with your own penis?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
