erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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