Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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