THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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