let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize