Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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