i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
