Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My bed smells like the plague
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
