i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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