there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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