Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
