Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
