i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
