what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
