The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
