This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
