That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
