hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
